Mr. President Swats a Sniff Out of Alcatraz with Gator Face-Off

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Sources say the former president was spotted on a boat near the infamous island prison, where he allegedly tried throw somebits to a massive crocodile. Witnesses report that Trump even got a little too close with the creature, causing some whispering. The {entireaffair was captured on video, and pictures have quickly gone viral online.

Hot off the Press: The Donald and the Danger Lizards!

A shocking development is unfolding at Mar-a-Lago as we speak/right now/at this very moment. Sources report that former President T.D. has faced off against a pack of dangerous lizards, said to be mutated by radiation/the result of government experiments/escaped from Area 51.

A nervous pool boy claim to have seen the former leader grappling with the creatures, wielding a golf club. The situation is still developing/unfolding/sketchy, and we await official statements alligator prison from Mr. Trump's staff.

Stay tuned for more updates on this completely unexpected event!

Big T's Wild Tour of Alcatraz

Get ready for a wild ride, folks! President Trump is hitting the rock/island/prison like never before in a tour/experience/adventure they're calling the Gator Gauntlet. Sources say he's planning on showing off/lecturing about/taking control of the island, wearing a MAGA hat the whole time. He's even rumored to be put in a gold-plated bidet during his visit. This ain't your grandma's tour of Alcatraz, folks. Brace yourselves!

Crocodile Corrections? Absolutely, Claims President Trump

Folks, lemme tell ya somethin'. This situation down in Florida is gettin' worse. They got these giant lizards runnin' free. And what do they do? Nothing! They just let 'em roam around. But not me, I wouldn't stand for that. We gotta make an example of these reptiles. That's why I say we gotta build a croc correction facility - Alcatraz for alligators, folks! That's what makes America great, takin' standin' up to danger.

The Don's Wild Ride: Presidential GATOR Safari!

This ain't your typical golf course, folks. The President himself is hitting the muck on a wild maniacal rampage. That's right, we're talking about Trumpfacing off against alligators. Sources say he's packing his that ridiculous red "Make America Great Again" beanie and planning on showing those gators who's boss. Will he make a deal with the biggest gator in the swamp? Only time will tell!

Can You Believe This?! Trump Goes Cage Diving With Gators

Folks, you are totally gonna believe this! The Donald himself, ex Prez Trump, has decided to go on a wild adventure. He's trading his golf clubs for some serious bravery and is jumping into a cage full of hungry alligators! Sources say that this whole thing was an attempt to boost his image.

What could possibly be more wild? Only time will tell.

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